5 Attempts to Keep Black America in Check That Fail Miserably

You guys know me by now. I’m the happy-go-lucky funny guy who talks about fatherhood, potty training, and the general hilarity of being a dad. But every now and then I decide to ruffle some feathers and unleash a political rant. Yes, this is one of those times.

As usual, some of you will love what I have to say, and others of you won’t — but that comes with the territory of being an opinionated dude on the Internet.

So what am I here to talk about today?

Chances are you’re frustrated by “that friend,” “that coworker,” or “that relative” (unless you are that friend, coworker, or relative) who doesn’t understand why black people are so upset with the state of America right now. And because they don’t understand, they will offer up lame arguments to discredit the emotions of black Americans. My mission today is to poke holes in those arguments in a relatively tidy fashion.

Those people could be in your office, on your Facebook feed, hosting a playdate for your kiddos, or even in your home. Just plop this link in a place where they will see it and let me handle the heavy lifting from here.

ARGUMENT #1: “I’m tired of seeing these overpaid athletes disrespecting America by not standing for the national anthem!”

What these armchair patriots fail to recognize is there are few things that are more American than doing what Colin Kaepernick and other athletes are doing. They are exercising their rights to protest American injustice in a peaceful way.

You're looking at a true American right here.  Image from Jason Ku/Flickr.

Image from Jason Ku/Flickr.

Yes, you have the right to disagree with these protests. But when you tell Kaepernick and others to “leave America” because you disagree with how they protest, it makes you completely unAmerican. Thankfully his actions helped to spark a much-needed dialogue, and we should we welcome it.

And let’s keep it real — if you’re more upset by these peaceful protests than the murders of unarmed black men by the police, then you’re clearly part of the problem.

 

ARGUMENT #2: “If the black guy just listened to the police officer, he’d be alive right now!”

Wait, what?

In what universe does a police officer have the right to kill somebody for not listening or for being disrespectful? And if you happen to believe that argument, why does it only apply to black people?

Two white Donald Trump supporters savagely beat up and urinated on a Mexican man in Boston and were taken alive by the police.

A white dude kills 9 innocent people in South Carolina and was taken alive (and treated to Burger King by the cops).

A white dude turns into a damn zombie, eats the faces of two people, and after a stun gun and police dogs couldn’t get him off of his victim, four officers teamed up to arrest him. You guessed it, he was taken alive by the police, too.

Hell, a terrorist injured 29 people in NYC and he was taken alive by the police.

Terence Crutcher (a black man and father of 4) was unarmed, driving home from college, had his hands up, and was shot and left to die by the police.

The aforementioned people committed crimes felonies and they are alive to talk about it. Except for Mr. Crutcher, of course. He did nothing wrong and now he’s dead.

And before you hit me up with more excuses like, “Well, it was in the heat of the moment” nonsense, please read this.

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If you lack the competence and/or temperament to do the job effectively, find a new job. It’s that simple.

So tell me why you don’t understand the anger many black people feel by this murder and the countless black men who were murdered before Mr. Crutcher by the police? I’ll wait.

ARGUMENT #3: “Blue Lives Matter!!! All Lives Matter!!!”

OK look, this isn’t complicated.

Unless you’re talking about the Smurfs, “Blue Lives” aren’t a real thing (and neither are the Smurfs). Unlike skin color, being a police officer is chosen.

Secondly, if you believe “All Lives Matter,” then nobody should be more pissed off than you by the unjust murders of black people by the cops. But (predictably) when another black man is gunned down by the police, further demonstrating that black lives DON’T matter, your outrage is nowhere to be found. Instead, you’ll offer up a bunch of “yeah, buts,” victim blaming, and silly memes about celebrity couples splitting up.

And for the people in the back, when you hear #BlackLivesMatter, it doesn’t mean black lives matter more than anyone else’s lives. It just means that they should matter just as much as anyone else’s.

ARGUMENT #4: “Stop vilifying cops! There are good police officers out there!”

Of course there are. Any reasonable person knows that, and if you think I hate the police, you’re completely mistaken. I recently met LAPD Police Chief Charlie Beck and he’s a wonderful man.

However, you’re not paying attention if you don’t understand why many black people are mistrusting of the police in general (refer to Argument #2).

And do you know what’s truly scary? Being a police officer suddenly looks like a dream job for white supremacists. America has shown us that all you need is a badge and gun, and you can intimidate, harass, beat up, and kill brown and black people and receive a paid vacation afterwards. Hell, if I was a racist, I’d be filling out my application to join the police academy right now.

With that said, everyone is so quick to offer their .02 on what the black community needs to do to improve, so how about we share what we need from the police? Let’s start with more accountability, better training, better vetting of applicants, and more good cops calling out the bad ones.

And in regard to the last point, props must be given to an Ohio Police Chief named Rodney Muterspaw who just spoke out against senseless police killings.

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ARGUMENT #5: “Why does the Race Card have to be pulled out all of the time when stuff like this happens??”

Because sadly, this is 100% about race, that’s why.

I’m an author, a proud dad, a keynote speaker, a brand ambassador, etc., but above all of that, I’m a black man. There’s always that thought in the back of my mind that my life could end if I have an unfortunate incident with a police officer. Yes, I’ve had plenty of great experiences with police officers, but what if I happen to encounter that one cop who had a bad day? If you’re going to argue that race has nothing to do with it, then I have to just shake my head and walk away from you.

***

As one of my mentors once told me, “Not everybody is a morning person and it takes longer for some people to wake up than others.” That’s true. America is in desperate need of a wake-up woke-up call. In order to truly love each other, we need to understand each other. I hope I did my part to help you understand the frustrations of many black Americans today.

We can do better and we have to do better. But change never starts with the other guy, it starts with us.

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Comments

  1. Meg says

    As a white conservative woman (not a Trump supporter), this post is EPIC. Thank you so much for listing your points so eloquently. I know I’m going to upset a few people when I repost this on my Facebook page, but this is a conversation that needs to be had. Thank you, Doyin! (PS – can you run for President??) :)

    • Lauren says

      I’m right there with Megan. I couldn’t find the right words. You made your points so eloquently. Also, yes, please run for president.

  2. says

    The excuses ” in the heat of the moment” and ‘the race card’.. both are used because its EASY to throw that out whenever the moment happens… You mention listening.. That is the key.. Have u ever noticed the ones who are so negatively passionate are the ones WHO DON’T listen? and in general most don’t listen because they have already formed their own views, strongly …
    Yes, u have hit every key point… and to add I am an Asian born in the states and have two generations that were born here as well.. and am proud to say my views are more open and logical than Trumps.

  3. alex says

    well written. please more posts that are real like this. other stuff in life is fluff (and fun to read) but this is what needs to be discussed. great writing and solid points. we all need to see life from someone else’s perspective and not all of us are given that opportunity until we see writing like this. kudos.

  4. Nora Johnson says

    Well said sir. As a black mom to black son, it breaks my heart to see and hear about these injustices. I’m literally traumatized each and every time by the deaths of innocent men, women and children at the hands of police charged to protect and serve the communities. We need more people with platforms like yourself to speak up as a means to start dialog and create change. Keep up the good work.

  5. Brian says

    Doyin – Thank you! I’m a little ways away from becoming a father, but I have always enjoyed your posts. Today’s post is one I especially enjoy because as a black man it puts into words what I have struggled to. Keep up the tremendous work!

  6. Karyn Dixson says

    Thank you for this.
    I am the mother to 4 biracial children. 2 of them are boys (almost 17 and 20). I worry about their safety every single day.

    -Karyn Dixson

  7. amy horst says

    Thank you! Your life matters.

    My fellow white people, this is our problem to fix. Let’s think about ways we can take action, every day, to bring about the more perfect union that our black and brown brothers and sisters so desperately need.

  8. Akeya says

    Thank you for this post. This is just what I needed to share my thoughts and feelings to those who and my “friends” yet don’t understand my frustration.

    Please keep up you thoughtful and funny work!

  9. Bertha Beauman says

    Great use of your platform and trust in your readership. You took a knee against abuse by policing organizations in this country.
    I look for these particularly civic related articles that carry a message to your readership. Every salient voice helps.

  10. Karen says

    As the white mother of a grown, special needs bi-racial man who is afraid to leave his house I can’t thank you enough for this. I will certainly be sharing your words.

  11. says

    Loved reading this post. Thank you for sharing your thoughts. It does give a strong sense of what you, as a black man, feels.

  12. says

    While I agree with some points I am a little disappointed. You see I am on both sides of the fence, the reason for that is because there are valid fact based points on both sides.

    First and foremost..the ugly truth behind #BlackLivesMatter is that black people killing other black people does nothing to advance its political power in the same way that one white cop killing a black criminal can.

    FBI data, 4,906 black people murdered other blacks in 2010 and 2011. That is 1,460 more black Americans killed by other blacks in two years than were lynched from 1882 to 1968, according to the Tuskegee Institute.

    DOJ statistics show that between 1980 and 2008, black people committed 52% of homicides.

    There are five times fewer black than white people in America and, yet, they consistently carry out a larger portion of the crimes? Given this ratio, it’s no wonder that there aren’t more instances where cops kill black criminals.

    Now Personally I feel, that both sides are right.

    #AllLivesMatter is about inclusion of every life, #BlackLivesMatter by way of thier actions suggests Exclusion, In Toronto in order for the Pride Parade to continue after a#BlackLivesMatter protest halted the Parade, #BlackLivesMatter Demanded Exclusion of Toronto Police Force from Any and All Pride Related Events, and stated that Inclusion was the reason… but that in and of itself is hypocritical, to in the same document demand of one group of people be excluded no matter the reason and demand Inclusion for Another group of people is the exact definition of Discrimination. There are LGBTQ people of every race, creed, religion, social status, etc., And to demand that any one be barred because of thier choice in career, education, background history, or any other reason is just as bigoted a view as racism.

    I may be of the “Privileged Skin Colour” but I recognize that PART of the problem is alot of the Selective Media Coverage, Choice of what will cause more outrage, and fuel the racism Fire.

    Where I live it is not about the colour of your skin but how you conduct yourself as a person and how you treat others.

    Just like this issue I face similar stigmas as I am a single mom living in poverty because I have a disability and because my disabilities are invisible unless I have to use my scooter I deal with similar hateful ignorance and injustice.

    The only reason I do not have a problem with any authority figure is because I respect them as a person first, not the title, job, race, religion, creed etc., solely because they are a human being with the right to be given the respect, that they are fallible just like everyone else, deserving of understanding and acceptance until thier actions state that they are undeserving of those rights from me.

    • Anonyplgrim says

      From the Black Lives Matter website:
      1. The movement doesn’t care about black-on-black crime. The idea that black-on-black crime is not a significant political conversation among black people is patently false. In Chicago, long maligned for its high rates of intraracial murder, members of the community created the Violence Interrupters to disrupt violent altercations before they escalate. However, those who insist on talking about black-on-black crime frequently fail to acknowledge that most crime is intraracial. Ninety-three percent of black murder victims are killed by other black people. Eighty-four percent of white murder victims are killed by other white people. The continued focus on black-on-black crime is a diversionary tactic, whose goal is to suggest that black people don’t have the right to be outraged about police violence in vulnerable black communities, because those communities have a crime problem. The Black Lives Matter movement acknowledges the crime problem, but it refuses to locate that crime problem as a problem of black pathology. Black people are not inherently more violent or more prone to crime than other groups. But black people are disproportionately poorer, more likely to be targeted by police and arrested, and more likely to attend poor or failing schools. All of these social indicators place one at greater risk for being either a victim or a perpetrator of violent crime. To reduce violent crime, we must fight to change systems, rather than demonizing people.

      Also note: http://usuncut.com/black-lives-matter/black-on-black-crime/

    • OverTheRhetoric says

      “There are five times fewer black than white people in America and, yet, they consistently carry out a larger portion of the crimes? Given this ratio, it’s no wonder that there aren’t more instances where cops kill black criminals.”

      This statement is the culmination of the “Privileged Skin Colour” you mentioned. At the end of the day, to you and many others in the dominant society, it’s all about the statistics. It seems to be the end all when it should be the beginning. Why is it that that the crime rate is what it is when there are five time fewer Blacks that Whites? From your view the answer may be simple, Blacks are simply violent by nature. But in my view I HAVE to consider the history of this country as it pertains to Blacks, where you do not.

      I will do my best to lay this out if you are willing to read. First, it has gotten to a point to where when many try to explain the after effects of slavery logically and sensibly, it’s shut down for obvious reasons then labelled an “excuse”. Most people know that slavery “ended” in 1865. But it’s like people believe it ended in a manner where there was a sort of cut off, or a mass change of heart concerning Africans. And that from there on, everyone was able to live the same in America. LIES. The fact is, Blacks continued to suffer racisms, negative bias, discrimination AND VIOLENCE as it relates to the very basics of living. Black businesses were intimidated, coerced and some even literally destroyed. While Black literacy went through the roof (yes, freed slaves wanted knowledge) and freedmen explored their new options, White America pounced. And guess what, this happen well into the 1900s. A writer, Douglas Blackmon even suggested that Blacks were treated WORSE after slavery. And one would think so being that without slavery being instituted there would be no reason for Whites (those who view Africans to be inferior) to worry at all about any well-being of any Black person.

      Have you ever heard of the Peonage Laws, or more to the point, debt slavery? Well these laws worked very well with the idea that slavery is abolished…except for punishment of crime. Do you see where I’m going with this? Though peonage was abolished (not for Blacks by the way), there were thousands of Black men arrested for ‘peonage’ crimes who were never seen alive by their kin again. There were thousands who went to prison for crimes (some major, some minor) who found themselves back on the “plantation” subject to the same abuses. And still TODAY Blacks are arrested at higher rates or given worse punishments for the same crimes as their White counter parts, don’t believe me, just look at the rape cases that have been circulating. So, my question is, if Blacks are targeted more, not given equal treatment as far as arrests rates, wouldn’t it appear that we are simply violent people prone to thievery if you look solely at statistics? The prison population of Blacks is not a coincidence.

      I’m not even talking about hundreds of years ago with this minute point about history. Heck, my grandmother was born in 1927, my great grandmother in the late 1800s, no one knew her (exact date of birth, but her mother was a slave). They all suffered the hands of in your face racism and discrimination, in a place where they had NO protection. Their men-folk had to toe a tight line for fear of being killed or taken into the abyss by way of peonage laws. And the icing on the cake is that it wasn’t until 1964 that we as a nation actually saw some recognized change. And even then police brutality against Blacks continued. This whole thing is only new to those who are just now seeing the America and the American police that the majority of Blacks have known their entire lifetime, myself included. 1964… we all know people who were of age before and during this period…this is not long ago. There are politicians, heads of governments, people in key positions in law and other areas old enough to have lived in and embraced and put into action the attitudes and thoughts on race from this period and before. And where they may be in retirement, many have children that are under 50 to carry on. Again, we act like all of this was such a long time ago, but that is the advantage of not have it affect your life because of your privilege. And I’m not suggesting it be otherwise. As I actually believe that at the end of the day everyone has near the same priorities: his/her family and belief…the rest seem to just fall in somewhere after that. My problem comes when people trivialize the condition of Blacks in this country because of the media and stereotypes without the same scrutiny applied to the system we all operate in.

      “Where I live it is not about the colour of your skin but how you conduct yourself as a person and how you treat others.”

      I completely agree with the idea here, and I applaud your community if it is as you state. Or could it be that from your view point that is how you see it because you are a part of the dominant society and may not have a preconceived notion of being a “bad guy” by an approaching authoritative figure? This latest shooting, PCP vile or not, showed a man conducting himself with his hands in the air. EVEN if he wasn’t, what is all the training cops go through for? 3 or four cops can’t beat a man?

      Now, I’m not one to make these types posts without offering what I think may be a solution. Notice I did not mention Jim Crow, or separate but equal. I’m not a fan of forced integration. I for one think it did more harm than good. People will naturally integrate, those that want to. But FORCED integration took away from the integrity of the schools and teachers in Black communities, as well as the business potential. And I truly think that what our ancestors were asking for was the right simply to live. In other words, don’t bomb my store when it opens, don’t give my schools outdated books, etc., etc. More importantly let the law protect us the same as it does any other citizen, instead the law has made way for us to be killed and justifications made for it. Blacks in my opinion (as unsolicited as it may be) should focus less on conversation and making “White America” understand us and our history, and more on providing for our own. Food, Shelter, Clothing and if we succeed at those, education (public education, in that teaching begins at home regardless). Tall order I know, but it will happen and many of us may not be alive to see it, but Blacks across the country are coming into some sort of awakening about our true position in the world.

      Lastly, to your very last sentence, do you not think the Black men that have been killed did not deserve the same respect from the authoritative figure that you give to the authoritative figure? Again, it’s perspective. And while I have a deep appreciated for your position as being a single mom with disabilities, living in poverty, neither of these attributes have every gotten anyone killed by cops. Only being Black and not fitting into the mode that America has carved out for them. It’s a death sentence in this country to be a Black man and not be assimilated into the dominant culture of this country.

      Please excuse this long and probable problematic post (typos probably, eh) but I felt an urge to respond.

      • says

        You hit the nail on the head… ‘Only being Black and not fitting into the mode that America has carved out for them. ‘ that is the key…and the problem w/America… they put every minority in a box…I am Asian and born here and have generations who were born here as well. And I am still shocked that every once in a while I will hear the typical remarks of how America thinks of Asians… even those that were born here… America has got to wake up and realize we ( metaphor) do not fit the mold that was set hundreds of years ago!

    • James says

      Twice. That’s how many times you mentioned the term, and inferred that this man was, a “black criminal”…

      ….he was a father of four, church-going motorist who needed HELP from the authorities. Your lack of compassion is mind-blowing. It’s no wonder America is no. 28 on the list of safest places to live….

    • Erica says

      Do we look at white on white crime? We are talking about citizens lawful or unlawful being killed by civil servants. Who can subdue white suspects / criminals who are resisting arrest, but often times not allkill black/ minority suspects, criminals, or ordinary citizens

  13. says

    After the Philando incident, I just couldn’t anymore… Just mentally exhausted. I watched this video on Facebook that was a woman who was just distraught, a mother of a black son who just had nothing left.. One thing she said that haunted me was, “I’m just tired.. Too tired to be black..” That shook me back awake.. I have no right to be too tired. I have an interracial family and my family deserves better. I will continue to use my white privilege to speak up and speak out. Thank you for your poignant message

  14. wilma says

    Hi, I’m glad to have read this article. I almost deleted you from my blog feed, as I feel that you are posting waaaaayyyyy too many sponsored posts (which, obviously, is totally up to you), but then every once in a while you post something that is thought provoking and timely. I’d love more of these posts (or unsponsored posts about fatherhood, etc), if you could.

  15. SimpleRyan says

    Doyin!!!
    Great article man.
    Thank you for laying this out in such a great fashion with great points to back them up

    Like you said…I feel a lot of this comes down to understanding.

    Before you make off the cuff, surface level comments like “I’m tired of seeing these spoiled overpaid athletes disrespecting America” or “if the black guy would just listen to the police and cooperate he’d be alive” – take a moment and ask yourself “have I tried to truly understand the history of black people in my country, and have I truly tried to understand what they are going through?”

    See – it’s easy to make comments like this if you’re not the one going through it.
    If you’re not the one burying your family member that was just shot and killed by a police officer, it’s easy for you to sit on your comfy couch and make these comments as you hide behind your smartphone.

    But I would urge you to take a deeper look, and look beneath the surface.

    Ask yourself “why is it that even when a black man is doing what he’s told to do…even when he has his hands up in the air, and his back is facing the police, posing no apparent threat, and he is clearly outnumbered by the police…why does he end up shot and killed?”

    Why does this not happen to a white man?
    Why is it that a terrorist can be taken alive, but an unarmed black man driving home from college can not be taken alive?

    Why is it that shooting to kill is the first thing that comes to the officer’s mind when Military officials are trained to use that as a last resort?

    Ask yourself why you’re more upset about someone not standing for a national anthem than you are about another unarmed black man being killed by another white officer?

    Look beneath the surface. Look at the history of race relations in this country. Look at the history of slavery, where it began, and how it was brought to the U.S.

    Look at how that still has some affects on our lives to this day.
    Look at how some people still have thoughts that blacks are lesser than whites. There isn’t one thing…it’s a summation of things that all play a part.

    We’ve come a long way in race relations – but apparently we still have a very long way to go.

    I honestly believe, things won’t change until we TRULY start treating other people how we want to be treated.
    Honestly.
    Period.

    Before you say something to someone, or about someone…stop and ask yourself “would I want that person to say that about me?”

    Before you do something to someone, ask yourself “would I want them to do that to me?”

    Maybe that’s too much to ask. But I honestly believe if we all did this – our world would be a better place

  16. Gracie says

    “Yes, I’ve had plenty of great experiences with police officers, but what if I happen to encounter that one cop who had a bad day?”
    This, this, this! As a white, straight female I’m pretty far up the society privilege ladder but even I can see that if we eliminate this reality, this horrible thought that has to be in the back of people’s minds, then we are ALL better off! Better systems in place to weed out and prosecute racist people of authority makes everyone safer! How do people not see it’s in everyone’s best interest? If people are tired of race coming into conversations, how about we fix stuff?

  17. Heather says

    This post is just a bunch of excuses as to why black people should not follow the law. Hatred is taught at home. Black parents are teaching their children that white people are racist. And that the world owes them something because black people were used as slaves. All races have been used as slaves. It’s time to move on. Stop living in the past.
    Law enforcement all over the USA makes thousands of stops each day that don’t end up with someone being shot. Most follow the request of LEO’S and others don’t. Where is the media when a white man is shot or any other race other than a black man. Why is looting and destruction of property involved in the protests . It’s because they have no respect . They destroy their own neighborhoods and then expect others to pay to have it repaired. They have no respect for each other or their own race.

    • OverTheRhetoric says

      “Black parents are teaching their children that white people are racist.”

      And you know this how? Did your Black friends tell you this, or are you a Black parent that teaches your child that White people are racists? The probable fact is, that these parents have taught their children disturbing history about Black and White relations in this country as a means to explain some other issue the kid noticed in his/her household or community.

      “And that the world owes them something because black people were used as slaves.”

      No, no…it was the US government that said it owes slaves and descendants of slave something! “40 acres and a mule”? Though the order was not as stated in this overrun slogan, but it WAS an order to resettle confiscated Confederate land to FREED SLAVES. And What happened?? Andrew Johnson overturned the order. How about one more, 1866 Indian Treaties: Choctaw and Chickasaw nations where people of African descent were to be given residency AND land in those nations. Because many “Indian” nations also held slaves, but I digress…

      “All races have been used as slaves.”

      I absolutely love this one. While it is very true that a LOT of races have seen it’s time in bondage, there has been no recorded slavery akin to the slavery imposed with the Transatlantic Slave Trade (well, probably the Arabic slave system – but wait, they were enslaving Africans too!). Specifically, though, slavery where there is absolutely no way out. You, your children, your children’s children, your children’s children’s children (…you get the idea) will ALL belong to me and/or whomever I sell or leave them to. Also, the sheer heinousness introduced in this form of slavery is another point to be taken, but again…I digress.

      “It’s time to move on. Stop living in the past.”

      I wonder if you have any great ancestors that you like to tell stories about…maybe, great grandmother, great granddad or someone who have done great things to improve the quality of life that you may even enjoy. I’m sure you wouldn’t move on from that. The past is what makes us all. My great-great grandmother was a slave. My mother’s grandmother. The past for many Whites in this country include slavery that worked out to benefit his/her family for years to come and did the exact opposite to the descendants of those same slaves. Even those who didn’t even own slaves. No, I won’t stop living in the past, maybe you should START revisiting the past and get a perspective.

      “Law enforcement all over the USA makes thousands of stops each day that don’t end up with someone being shot. Most follow the request of LEO’S and others don’t. “

      Here I agree with you here, however, that isn’t the point of the post. But as a fair man, I must say, I agree. Oblige the officer and make it home, we can fight whatever injustices we may feel later, while we’re alive.

      “Where is the media when a white man is shot or any other race other than a black man. “

      The media IS there when a white man gets shot. I see it on my FB timeline. The thing is, it’s 1. Not often, 2. Usually after the White man has really left the officers no other choice. Or in the case with the one female who charged the officer with a knife, she was shot. Blacks can make a simple move and get killed! But…to your point, you know what we do see instead of the white man or any other race getting shot? We see the White man WAVING a pistol at cops and the cops are treating him with respect still, still talking calmly to diffuse the situation. We see White men throw actual punches at cops and they wrestle him to the ground. We see White women almost run cops over and not a single shot gets fired.

      “Why is looting and destruction of property involved in the protests . It’s because they have no respect .”

      Looting and no respect. Yes. While I don’t agree with it, I do know WHY some do this. Blacks in these neighborhoods understand that they own nothing in those neighborhoods. They also understand that there is no equal justice for them, so rage ensues…it happens, in ANY demographic.

      “They destroy their own neighborhoods and then expect others to pay to have it repaired. “

      I’d like to know where you come to this conclusion? I haven’t seen anywhere even on the news where Blacks destroyed their homes, or are you referring to stores in the surrounding area?

      “They have no respect for each other or their own race.”

      Finally, something we are in 100% agreement on! Unfortunately, this is the one thing that I believe is the biggest problem. Blacks have adopted the viewpoint about Blacks that Whites and other races have. And yes, this is a direct effect of slavery, the slavery that I should get over. Put it like this, as a great lecturer and author put it: if your starting point is -10 and you’ve improved 10 times over, then you’re at 0. What’s so great about that? This is exactly the position Freed slaves found themselves in. You may not get this, but cultural identity is very important. It’s what makes a Japanese person “Japanese”, a Mexican “Mexican”, and “American” … I’m sure it’s what makes you, you…

      As with my last post, I must say something to the solution, and it’s the same thing, however I must word it differently for you and those who think like you. Contrary to your belief, WE don’t want you (or others) to do anything for us other than NOT impede our progress (those of us who don’t mind embracing ourselves as Blacks and look to build upon our own merits). That’s all that was asked of since slavery supposedly ended. Education, self sufficiency is the way to go for us and truly understand what is going on. Slow process, sure, but it’s happening.

  18. Lorelle says

    Most of what you have said hits very close to the bullseye and the disagreements I have are too small to mention. But, please go to youtube and look up “zachary hammond dash cam” and watch the videos where Zack is shot from behind while trying to get away from an out of control undercover cop. Zach was 19 years old and unarmed. A representative of BLM came to Seneca, SC and tried to help the family find their way to justice through the system. They got no justice from the cop, Mark Tiller who murdered Zach, none from the Solicitor, Chrissy Adams who refused to charge Tiller, and none from the Chief of Police John P. Covington, who tried to cover for Tiller, until the threat of suit over their violation of the FOIA requests finally got the video and complete records released. The video revealed that the cops lied on their reports of the murder. The city settled with Zach’s parents for $2.15 million a few months after this happened. The Chief finally fired Tiller about a year later, with no comment. Lt Mark Tiller, who murdered Zach, has never been charged with a crime, despite the autopsy showing that both bullets exited the front of Zach’s body, one through his heart. Just for the record, all of the people mentioned above by name are white.

  19. Nina Lescher says

    Thank you so much for speaking about this Doyin! I am a white woman and mom of 2, and I feel so much anger and grief for the victims and their families. I can’t even imagine the pain and anger they must feel, and then they have few if any safe (public) places to express that.My interactions with the police are few. Like you say, I’m sure there are good ones. Yet, I am deeply suspect of how they are trained. Guilty before proven innocent seems like an unspoken but very strong rule that they live by. My hope and dream is that these victims tragic deaths will provoke permanent change, both in how police are trained and how our justice system operates. A police officer should have to work in the community for months before they are issued a gun.

  20. says

    thanks for this post. it came across my FB feed and i’ve shared it and seen it reshared by my friends, white and black (i’m black). in my mom group online there are mostly white moms and one lives in Charlotte and right now is worried about the protests. instead of getting frustrated and spending a lot of time angry typing at the keyboard, i can simply share this article. so again, thank you. for understanding, and for trying to get others to understand.
    Bre recently posted..Wordless Wednesday 09.21.16My Profile

  21. says

    All I have to say about this is to you who are blind, I pray God opens your eyes. I have read every comment and some make valid points and others not so much. It is sad how many cannot come together on this issue and defend bad behavior. That is like your kid cussing you to your face and you say ” oh he / she is just a kid they will grow out of it”. Reality is, no they won’t they just turn into adults that way and do things like what is happening now. Can any white person picture this, walking on a side walk with ear phones in your ears listening to music andxall of a sudden 3 cop cars surround you. Now to your knowledge you have done nothing but you look suspect because you are white. They tell you raise you hands so you do, next they approach you and tackle you to the ground. You struggle with them a little and cuss them out so one decides to shut you up with is gun.Oh and by thexeay those cops are all black. What would you do? Think about it!

  22. Georgia Tinsley says

    Very informative. Thoroughly enjoyed some of the view points. We need to PRAY PRAY PRAY. Trust in God and PRAY. It gets scary sometimes to know and realize that being a Black Person who has Black family members may be killed…. Is scary. What is our world coming to? World War 3 or what? Is this the End of Time. Get Right With God and Do It Now. BLESSINGS.

  23. Mike says

    Excellent post. I greatly respect the restraint you exercised in how you expressed everything. It must have been hard to hold back the anger and frustration that anyone with a heart must be feeling. You did a fantastic job of stating and developing your points without going on the offensive (which could have been so easy to do…). I think this post will resonate with many people and enlighten them on a different perspective that they may be unable to otherwise understand – especially because you took the high road. All the best to you and your family.

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