March Madness Part II, The Not-So-Fantastic Four

The path to the Sweet Sixteen of college basketball’s March Madness is now littered with favorites heading home early (Duke, Wichita State, Kansas, Villanova, Syracuse, etc.), but the games were extremely exciting. Will the same be said for our 1st Annual Parenting Version of March Madness?

First off, if you didn’t read last week’s post when the “Sour Sixteen” items were revealed, you should probably do that now. Just like in the basketball tournament, some games were no-brainers, some were nail-biters, and there were big upsets.

Here’s how the matchups will be laid out. The winner of the “Out of the house” region will compete against the “People” region winner. The winner of the “In the house” region will square off against the “Cartoon” region winner. The winners of each matchup will compete against each other to be crowned as the most annoying thing parents have to deal with.

The road to the championship

The road to the championship


So without further ado, let’s find out what you chose as the four items to compete in the Not-So-Fantastic Four.


OUT OF THE HOUSE region breakdown:

ITEM #1 – No changing table available when your children poop themselves in public vs. ITEM #4 – Your kids delivering an epic tantrum or meltdown in public

The first matchup was a complete blowout (see what I did there?) with no changing tables in restrooms winning easily over epic meltdowns in public. Think of it this way: when a kid craps himself/herself in public, said kid usually has an epic meltdown to go along with it. That meltdown most likely isn’t going to end until that kid gets cleaned up and if there are no changing tables around, well…you know how that plays out.


ITEM #2 – Taking toddlers on an airplane vs. ITEM #3 – Taking toddlers on a long car ride

This was also a no-contest. According to you, toddlers on a plane win in a landslide. At least in a car, you can pull over and have the kids run around for a bit at a rest stop or something. That’s not happening when you’re confined to a box that’s 30,000 feet above ground.


And the regional winner is…

So that leaves us with no changing tables vs. toddlers on an airplane. Since one is temporary and the other is indicative of a systemic societal problem, you voted that no changing tables wins this region. That means the #1 seed survives and advances as the first entry into the Not-So-Fantastic Four.

Now let’s find out what its opponent will be.


PEOPLE region breakdown:

ITEM #1 – Non-parents who give unsolicited advice to parents vs. ITEM #4 – Parents who brag about how perfect their kids are

The overall #1 seed in the entire tournament had a cake walk against bragging parents. As mentioned earlier, very few things are more annoying than someone telling you how to do your job when they’ve never done it before.

As far as bragging parents are concerned, let me the first to say that my kids are amazingly awesome, but they can also be assholes. Guess what? Your kids can be assholes, too. The parenting world would be an infinitely better place if everyone just owned that simple fact. Anyway, the braggarts offered little resistance in this matchup.


ITEM #2 – Parents who give unsolicited advice to other parents vs. ITEM #3 – One-upper parents

Now here’s where things started to get interesting. Surprisingly, one-upper parents brought the lumber against parents offering unsolicited advice and ran them out of the proverbial gym. It wasn’t even close. So it looks as if one-upper parents really piss a lot of you off. The worst are the fools that one-up you when bad shit happens.

YOU: “My daughter broke her arm skiing over the weekend.”

ONE-UPPER: “Well, my son broke his arm skiing two years ago and he broke his nose too.”

WHAT GOES THROUGH YOUR MIND: “Really, motherfucker?? Why are you bringing that shit up right now? How about I give you a serving of my version of ‘Soul Food’ when I put the sole of my shoe so far down your throat that you’ll taste the five miles I ran at the gym this morning? Try one-upping that, jackass.”


And the regional winner is…

You’d think the overall #1 seed would pull it out in the end, right? Not so fast, my friend. One-upper parents provided the tournament’s biggest “Upset Special” and won the region. Many of you believe that non-parents will learn the error of their ways once they have tiny humans of their own, but being a one-upper is a character flaw that most of us aren’t qualified to handle (and don’t really care to handle, either).

The #3 seed of the region moves on to the Not-So-Fantastic Four.


IN THE HOUSE region breakdown

ITEM #1 – Never getting a good night’s sleep vs. ITEM #4 – Getting one of the P’s on your body, face, or mouth (poop, pee, or puke)

This matchup was a lot closer than many would’ve thought. I value sleep just as much as the next parent, but I’ve also learned how to survive without it now that I’m chasing around two young children. However, I’ll never learn how to be cool with getting human excrement on my body, face, or mouth.


That said, never getting a good night’s sleep squeaked out a tight victory over a very tough opponent.


ITEM #2 – Potty training vs. ITEM #3 – Making your kids eat vegetables

Potty training smacked the poop out of eating veggies. There’s nothing that parenting has thrown at me during my 3+ years as a dad that has been as challenging and annoying as potty training. There are cool things kids can eat nowadays that will ensure they get their vitamins, but there’s no cool invention to get kids to use the damn toilet other than waiting for them to figure it out on their own and being patient.


And the regional winner is…

The regional final pitted the #1 seed against the #2 seed, and it was a triple overtime thriller. Potty training sucks for all of the reasons I mentioned, and not sleeping sucks because…well, it just sucks. Back and forth they went, and do you know what was left standing? All of us. Yes, WE were left standing because we never effing sleep! As many of you mentioned (although this is not my experience), potty training can be knocked out in a weekend or two. The lack of sleep thing lasts for a really, really, really long time. Imagine potty training when you’re sleep deprived? Oh yeah, a lot of you have been there and done that.

So yes, never getting a good night’s sleep wins the region. Who will its opponent be?


CARTOON region breakdown

ITEM #1 – Caillou vs. ITEM #4 – Dora The Explorer

For some reason that’s completely lost on me, this matchup was a lot closer than I expected. In my mind, if these two played a basketball game to determine who the most annoying cartoon character is, the bald brat would win by a score of 1,000,000 to zero. But there are a lot of you who think Dora is worse. Those people are entitled to their opinions, just as long as they realize that their opinions are completely wrong.

Caillou wins.


ITEM #2 – Max & Ruby vs. ITEM #3 – Spongebob Squarepants

Many of you ban Spongebob from your homes for various reasons, but mainly because the show offers zero educational value. Sure the show is dumb, but at least it’s marginally funny. How many times have you laughed during a Max & Ruby episode? What have Max & Ruby taught you other than being damn thankful that you don’t have kids like them? No wonder their parents ran away.

The rabbit siblings easily wring out the sponge.


And the regional winner is…

If the last regional final went into three overtimes, then this one went into about 185 overtimes. You simply will not find cartoons so evenly matched in their epic crappiness than these two. However, when all was said and done, Caillou won. Who in their right minds would turn on a TV to see a kid whine when we have whiny kids of our own?


Introducing the Not-So-Fantastic Four

Your voices were heard and the matchups are now set:


No changing tables vs. One-upper parents


Never getting a good night’s sleep vs. Caillou


The winners of the two games will go up against each other to determine the overall winner.

Now it’s your turn. Pick winners of each matchup and choose the winner of the championship game in the comment section. And just like last week, be sure to include your reasoning behind your choices.

A champion must be crowned, people.


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  1. Kristin Kat says

    Bahahaha! This final four is a real nail biter!

    However, to me it’s as clear as mud:

    Game #1: No Changing Tables will flatten One-Upper parents to the ground. Really? Could a One-Upper parent really handle a blowout diaper in the midst of one-upping? Probably not :-)

    Game #2: This could be a major upset, sleep vs. whiny annoying kidlet. But in the end, Sleep will be the moral enemy and suffocate Calliou’s chances of ever winning!

    Moral of the story – A sleepless parent running into a diaper blowout with no changetables gives the term going postal a run for their money 😉

    Game 1: No Change Tables
    Game 2: Never Getting a Good Night’s Sleep

  2. Kristin Kat says

    … And the final match up, No Change Tables will be the clear winner or destroyer if you prefer!

  3. RyanH says

    My picks:

    Game #1: No Changing Table. easy pick. One-upper parents are annoying but also easy to avoid.

    Game #2: first off, I can’t believe Max & Ruby didn’t win this bracket. I’d rather drop a hammer on my little toe than watch Max & Ruby. (And I’ve done both, so I know which one sucks more.) But out of the 2 picks, I’ll go with “Never Getting Enough Sleep” in a squeaker. I can always caf up, but it’s easier to tune out Caillou (or sleep through it) than it is to fight through a sleep-deprived haze.

  4. Mrs. P says

    GAME #1 No changing tables vs. One-upper parents
    This one is tough, but with the one uppers you can always just walk away, (and discretely place a rotten diaper in their car) but when a kid blows out that one cannot be walked away from, if anything walking makes it worse. Poo wins.
    GAME #2 Never getting a good night’s sleep vs. Caillou
    Game 2 is no contest. Again, caillou can be turned off, turned down or badly dubbed with inappropriate things. You can always walk away. But with no sleep, there is no walking away and as with the previous game, walking makes it worse. (exercise+exhaustion= bad things!) SLeep wins

    In the final we have sleep VS Poop in the ultimate showdown. And in the grand scheme of things poop is always nasty, but shorter lived. EVentually they will go on the potty and wipe their own butts. But sleep will be a precious commodity for as long as your child walks this earth, teenager with the car? no sleep, student away at university? no sleep, kids have their own kids? no sleep…its never ending, so SLEEP WINS!

  5. says

    Ohh, I get the first swing. The power of checking your email at the right time. I must say, this is a two game challenge easily worth a big tray of wings and plenty of adult beverages.

    GAME #1

    No changing tables vs. One-upper parents

    A tough game including plenty of trash talk and technicals. No changing table is tough and my personal hate, but Mr. One-upper will hit you with “Yes, that is tough, but I changed both children in the cesspool Men’s room at Olive Garden by juggling and stacking.” My heart says changing tables, but my ten dollars is on the one-uppers.

    GAME #2

    Never getting a good night’s sleep vs. Caillou

    Sorry, I have the double wammy in this game. My princesses found Caillou to be the boring Frenchman he is and he lasted less than two episodes at my house. And Princess Two decided to get sick in my bed around midnight last night. Disney Junior tossed Caillou into the garage sale bin long before sleeping 8 hours returned to my house.
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  6. Ryan V. says

    Game #1: I am the type of parent who, when faced with no changing table, pull out my little plastic changing pad and go to town at the first high counter or table I can find. I have done it one the floor in tight situations, but where we live businesses are PRETTY good about changing tables in both the men’s and women’s rooms. This doesn’t bother me near as much as other people. I have no shame.

    One-Uppers on the other hand drive me nuts. They’re always the best parent and THEY know ALL of the research SO much better than YOUR dumbass, etc, etc… Screw those folks.

    For me, the winner in Game #1 is One-Upper parents. They can kiss my baby’s poopy butt. (I just got done changing a morning poopy, too…so that stink is fresh in my head…er…nose..)

    Game #2: I CANNOT STAND Caillou. His whole character and personality just…suck. He wins the worst against almost anything in my book. *shivers*

  7. Dr.D says

    Easy calls on this one…No Changing Tables are the MOST Annoying. I still remember inconsolable infant with a poopy diaper in fairly nice place. I ended up moving the potpourri bowl and decorative vase off a knee high useless decorative table in the men’s room to change him.

    Sleep deprivation is the easy winner. The headaches, the nausea, the fuzzy thinking, the lack of frustration tolerance, the people telling you to go take a nap, and let’s not forget those few moments when it’s really bad and you have sleep deprivation psychosis hallucinations (like babies crying in your car while you drive to work even though they are still back home). Interestingly I learned early on that pediatric nurses don’t like when you make jokes about that kind of thing even if you are a clinical psychologist.

  8. Amy says

    I missed the early voting, so it was with baited breath that I read the post to see if Calliou would make it through for me to help try to bring him home as the MOST GODDAMN ANNOYING THING ON EARTH. Talk about a societal fail. That show is attempting to normalized the worst behavior in a child while modelling some kind of insanely patient child-rearing that cannot but make every parent feel like a failure (I want to scratch his eyes out and he isn’t even *talking* to me) and every child feel like they got the short end of the stick (Calliou’s mommy doesn’t yell *or* need a second glass of wine).

    Ahem, oh yeah, and that other match looks interesting too.

    Game #1 One Upper Parents. No changing tables will pass (viva la potty training!) while One Uppers are FOREVER.

    Game #2 Calliou (CalliouCalliouCalliouCalliouCalliouCalliouCalliouCalliouCalliouCalliouCalliouCalliouCalliouCalliouCalliouCalliouCalliou)

  9. says

    I am so surprised that this changing table thing has people in such an uproar. Sure, they are convenient – but parents have been rearing kids for centuries without a little fold-out piece of plastic to put them on. Simple solution? Keep a receiving blanket or a changing pad in your diaper bag to put down on the floor, change your kid, and keep it moving. I would say, hands down, any of the other sour 16 were more annoying to me than relying on someone else to provide me with a gadget to change poopy pants when they need changing.

  10. Jeremy Moritz says

    Game #1: One-uppers: I think a veteran parent of even just a few months can make a changing table from about anything. However, one-upper parents, well, they’re just annoying.

    Game #2: Never getting sleep: as a parent that tries to avoid TV at this early stage in my daughter’s life (only 11 months) these shows haven’t affected my opinion yet so no sleep wins for me.

    Championship: One-uppers – I just really cannot stand it when you’re trying to share excitement, sadness, joy, etc. and someone feels the need to jump in a take try to take that away from you or your child.

  11. SJH says

    Game 1: I’m gonna have to go with the one-upper parents. Because, I mean, do we even need an explanation for this one?
    Game 2: Still gotta stick with the lack of sleep. Again, it’s a thing of permanence. Calliou can be turned off, but the sleeping thing? I put my eight-month-old in her own room this week, and although her fussing is much easier to ignore when she decides it’s time to eat when it’s totally not… I still wake up. And lie awake until she stops. So, yeah.

    The grand champion? Hmmm… Hard to pick a winner. I guess I’ll go with the one-uppers. Because like sleeplessness (except worse), I don’t think they ever go away. And we knew we were signing up for sleeplessness when we took on a kid, but no one volunteered for that nonsense!

  12. Sarah Caldwell says

    GAME #1 – One-upper parents
    I have a portable fold out pad that turns any surface into a changing table! BAM. One changing table, no waiting. And it folds back down so small that it fits into my purse. I’ve never had a problem with not finding a changing table.

    My sister-in-law on the other hand, is the ULTIMATE one-upper, and let’s face it, it’s annoying when it’s a stranger that you can tell to eff off. But when it’s your sister-in-law, you constantly have to hold your tongue and be polite, even when you KNOW your kids are better.

    GAME #2 – Caillou
    I’m used to lack of sleep. To be honest, I’ve gotten pretty good at functioning without it. But there’s nothing worse than having to watch this bald-headed brat. Why does he not have hair anyway? Besides, I fear the more we (and by ‘we’ I mean my sweet, angel children) watch this, the more we’ll behave like this. And that’s not happening in my house.

    OVERALL WINNER – Caillou
    Honestly, the only reason one-upper parents are the way they are, is because deep down they know they HAVE to compete to MAKE their children better. Because they’re children aren’t better, and they know it. Clinging to this knowledge gets me through any confrontation with a one-upper any day. I don’t have to prove that my children are better, because your trying to one-up me just proved it. You know you can’t compete with my rock stars.

    Caillou wins hands down because OH MY GAWD. There are no words.

  13. Christina says

    GAME #1 No changing tables vs. One-upper parents
    No question, no changing tables wins. I can always walk away from a one-upper parent (after punching them in the face), but society frowns upon leaving your stinky kid and walking away.

    GAME #2 Never getting a good night’s sleep vs. Caillou
    Hmmm, this one is closer (Caillou is really that annoying), but I would definitely have to go with never getting sleep. I just really really really need my sleep.

    The final game is going to be close. Can’t wait to see who is in the matchup!

  14. Erica Snipes says

    The final game should be one upper parents v. Caillou. I feel like the poop and changing thing will ultimately be saved by potty training, and all will be well. Even though yes, you can walk away from the one upper nonsense, it will still be there in the end, or you’ll find it somewhere else. And one uppers can be both ways–i.e., my kid is more awesome than yours, or my kid had a worse situation than yours.

    As far as the other…lack of sleep…meh…you figure out how to deal, and eventually, God willing, the kid sleeps, or at least is staying in their room under pain of whatever…Caillou, however, is like nails on a damn chalkboard…even when you turn the TV off!

    So…one upper parents v. Caillou.

    Can’t wait to see the results! :)

  15. Nicole says

    oh come on! I actually dont mind Caillou :-) And thou it didnt make the final four, I would have to agree w/ everything you said on the Potty Training…its the worst and hardest thing Ive ever gone through as a parent! It just sucks!

  16. Alex Wollangk says

    Game #1: I’d have to say one-upper parents. I’m probably biased but one-uppers in general irritate me to no end. I always carried a changing mat so lack of a changing table was irritating but I could always find floor space in an emergency.

    Game #2: Caillou isn’t on often enough and, while it’s not great, it really didn’t bother me much. I’ll definitely have to vote lack of sleep. An irritating half hour a couple times a week just doesn’t match up to the year or so of zombie life a new baby gifts their parents with.

  17. ShyOne says

    GAME #1: One-upper parents
    Some day your child will be potty trained, and you won’t care about changing tables anymore. One-upper parents never end … and many get worse as their “geniuses” get older.

    GAME #2: Never getting a good night’s sleep
    Any cartoon is easy to ban. Feeling tired all the time is just rotten.

    • ShyOne says

      For the final game, I vote one-upper parents. (Most kids *eventually* sleep (or learn to be quiet and safe) at night, so that you get a decent amount of shut-eye; One-uppers will always be there to rain on your parade.

  18. Melanie says

    GAME #1: One-upper parents

    This is a pretty even matchup, in my mind. There are changing tables in the women’s room a lot more often than in the men’s room, so it is super annoying that I am always on poopy patrol whenever we go out as a family. But, it is a temporary problem, which the (also super annoying) potty training will eventually solve. Being one who has a one-upper parent in the family, making them very hard to avoid, I am going to vote for the one-upper parents as being the more annoying.

    GAME #2: Never getting a good night’s sleep

    I hate Caillou, more than it is reasonable to hate a cartoon kid. We have only ever had one episode of that show on at our house, which is why it is not the most annoying. It is so easy to not turn the show on, and so many other options of better shows or movies that kids can watch. Never getting enough sleep, while annoying in itself, has so much annoying spillover into so many other aspects of life. When one kid doesn’t sleep, they all suffer. Mom gets grumpy, the house gets a half-hearted cleaning at best, supper is, let’s say “uninspired”. It is a mess, all because our daughter thinks it is awesome to wake up at four in the morning. Every morning. Forever.

  19. Aaron B says

    Game 1: No Changing Table by a mile. I can actively avoid one-upper parents. I can stop seeing them. I can choose when and how to engage with them. The no changing table situation comes out of nowhere.

    Game 2: Never getting a good night’s sleep. I can turn the TV off. I can’t magically find more time for sleep.

    It was a hard toss up for me on the cartoons, largely because in my house, it’s all Doc McStuffins all the time. To quote Ron from Parks & Rec last Thursday: “There is no quiet. There is only Doc McStuffins.”

  20. Corinne says

    Game #1:
    One-upper parents….once potty training is accomplished, the changing tables become irrelevant. One-upper parents hang around through toddler-dom, preschool, grade school, middle and high school and even college. Then they one-up you with their kids’ jobs, weddings, houses, vacations, etc. And THEN (GASP) they become one-upper GRANDPARENTS. Ugh – the annoyance never ends.

    Game #2: This is a tough match-up, because both are relative short-lived challenges. Had Max and Ruby pulled out as the victor in the regional matchup, it would have been a blowout (I can’t believe there are parents who are more annoyed by Caillou than by the rabbit kids – shew. Max and Ruby equate to pure torture if you ask me)…however, Caillou vs Lack of Sleep? I’m going with Lack of Sleep because while a cartoon lasts an hour; losing sleep for just a few nights seems like an eternity.

    Overall Champion: ONE-UPPER-PARENTS by a huge margin!

  21. Kate Malone says

    In Game #1: One-Upper Parents. Cleaning up poop is nasty, we all know this. But you only have to do this for so long (hopefully). One-Upper Parents are One-Upper Parents FOREVER. They will be there at preschool, at t-ball, at soccer, at kindergarten, and on, and on, and on………… You can’t avoid all of them because they are everywhere.
    Winner: No changing table (yes, I am going against my own choice here).

    In Game #2: Never Getting a Good Night’s Sleep. I think that some people think that part is short-lived. But what about when they start going to movies with friends, going to parties, and the worst, driving? I have come to the realization that I will probably never sleep again, and it sucks. I just don’t let my kid watch Caillou. Ever. Makes it easy for me! :)
    Winner: Never Getting a Good Night’s Sleep.

    Overall Winner: I take Never Getting a Good Night’s Sleep for the very close win.

  22. Shelley says

    Game #1 Changing Tables.
    Since my five-year-old never stops talking, I’ve learned how to tune out 95% of the crap that comes out of other people’s mouths. Plus, once a one-upper is identified, I will use my own child to avoid future social interactions with them. Whereas I very much dislike being the automatic go-to for changing diapers because of the table situation. See the knocked out seed, “Getting the P’s on your body, face, mouth.” Who knew that when taking kids in public at a young age, packing an extra set of clothes for yourself would also be necessary?!

    Game #2 Never getting a good night’s sleep
    Maybe I could tolerate Caillou and all the other drivel if I wasn’t so f***ing tired all the time!

  23. Nicole says

    Game 1: One-upper parents easily
    Particularly, if said individual is a family member or friend. I cannot get away from them then and I want to punch them in the face.
    I agree it is annoying not having a changing table but some I would rather not use. We figured out how to change our kids in all sorts of ridiculous situations.
    Game 2: Caillou
    I’ve been living with reduced sleep for over 8 years now and it is not changing. Certain cartoons drive me up the wall. Yes, I can turn it off or divert attentions elsewhere but some how they end up back on. I hear enough whining, why would I want more ugh!!!

  24. SarahLynn says

    No changing tables wins Game 1. One-upper parents might be crappy, but being forced to prolong a poopy diaper change is even crappier.

    Never getting a good night’s sleep wins hands down! You can turn off Caillou. But you can’t turn off the teething and the growing pains and the nightmares and the cold spells. The best is when everyone is finally asleep, but you can’t because you have a headache from- you guessed it- not enough sleep.

  25. Cameron says

    No changing tables wins. I can walk away from the one-upper, change the subject, etc. Nothing makes poop go away.

    Caillou. Most. Selfish, Kid. Ever. I don’t want my kid picking up his attitude any more than I would want her to pick up SB’s.

  26. Laurel says

    1) one upping parents because you can always change your kid on the ground!
    2) no sleep because you can turn off the TV, not the beloved babe!

  27. Sam says

    Game 1. One Uppers. This is more of a disease than an annoying issue. Please dig deep and donate to the Smash a one upper in the face foundation.

    Game 2. No Sleep. No sleep cannot be turned off, muted or block with parental control systems.

    Champion… Complete no brainer win to NSC (No Sleep College) Humans are not programmed to function with no sleep (as parents you somehow manage).

    On a side note OUU (One Upper University) has been reprimanded by the NCAA and has been stripped of all previous titles and funding due to being giant pains in the ass.

    Second side note. Love your work DDW and can’t wait for next weeks post!

  28. Rick P. says

    Game 1 Winner: One Upper Parents, hands down!

    Game 2 Winner: Never getting a good nights sleep wins this one. My kid is 8 months, so for now I can avoid Caillou, haha.

  29. Scott E. says

    Game # 1 – no changing table wins by a landslide. I once had to change 3 diapers at one time on a coffee table in a book store. One uppers can kiss my ass as I’m walking away from them.

    Game # 2 – caillou wins by 3 points just by wining enough to the reff. I can go without sleep any day of the week, but caillou is truly annoying.

  30. June says

    Game 1: really? A lack of facilities every time – you can always tune out or walk away from a one-upper. Absolutely no contest!

    Game 2: lack of sleep vs some cartoon kid I’ve never heard of? Lack of sleep naturally.

    But the overall winner’s got to be a lack of facilities! A tired parent can put up with pretty much anything … except a whiny child in a dirty nappy or in need of a toilet.

  31. says

    Ok, I see where everyone is going when they claim avoidance of one-uppers is possible, but I’m quite adept at dealing with the missing changing table too so I only find that a mild annoyance. Plus, my youngest is 5 1/2 so I’ve been out of the diaper changing game for 2 1/2 years. Perhaps some amnesia has set in, but just like potty training, the problem really is temporary. Those one-uppers, though, they last on through the teenage years, even beyond! (Your kid has a pimple on her nose? Mine has acne all over her face! We are going to the dermatologist tomorrow.) So I’m going with the one-uppers.

    And since the other match-up is a cartoon I never had to watch vs. one of the biggest banes of my existence, I must choose sleep deprivation again.

    Game #1: One-uppers
    Game #2: Sleep Deprivation

    Final: Sleep Deprivation, regardless of its opponent.

    Now, if Sleep Deprivation loses to Caillou, which I simply can’t fathom, I personally think either teams from Game #1 would beat its pants off.
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  32. smothermother says

    OK, One -upper and no sleep for the final.

    and i still don’t understand how caillou won of DORA!!! and the stupid bunnies. *shakes head*

  33. Katie says

    No changing table vs one upper parents. Although going to change a diaper and finding there is no changing table is annoying. I find the one upper parents are more annoying. You can always find a solution to no changing table. You can’t really escape the one upper. My mother in law is one of the worst one uppers ever to walk the earth. Every time she opens her mouth I wish I couldn’t hear what’s about to tumble out of her mouth.

    No sleep vs Calliou. This one is harder for me because I love my sleep and am very grumpy if I don’t get it. Calliou is very annoying and I can’t stand children whining. It’s frustrating what is being taught by watching Calliou. So I am going to go with Calliou. You can teach your children to sleep eventually.Calliou will always be annoying and whiny.

    One upper vs Calliou. Both equally annoying to me but I am going with one upper because you can always ban Calliou. How do you ban all of the one uppers especially if they are in your family?

  34. Teddy says

    No changing tables by a land-slide… One-uppers are only annoying if you give them what they want…the “WTF” wrinkled brow… Just nod along and continue and THEY’LL be the annoyed ones. The no-changing table issue is HUGE, and when it used to happen to me (mine are 8 & 6 now), REM’s “Everybody Hurts” used to run through my head.

    I gotta go with Caillou over no-sleep. I don’t like being sleep deprived, but hey, I did plenty of it to myself back in my younger days… at least now I’m burning off some karma by all-nighting it for others… But that whiny git DOES NOT SHUT UP! And what’s more, my wife and I were freaked-the-feck out by the way the story goes… Why is some old biddy going on and on about Caillou in the past tense? WHat happened to him? DDW give him an overdose of sole-food?

    For the winner? No changing-table…. Hands down… It’s almost like the store’s way of saying “Go in the women’s room, you sissy”. I frequently wouldn’t return to stores that left me in Crapola… More than one good shirt went to the rag bin after being laid on the floor as my “makeshift changing table”… And no matter how hard you try, you just can’t tell yourself that’s mashed sweet potatoes on your brand new Nautica polo…

  35. Sabrina says

    Game 1: One-upper parents win. I could change a diaper anywhere, but it seems like one-upper parents are everywhere. They started when I was pregnant. Their pregnancy was worse, or their morning sickness was worse, or whatever we were discussing, they had it better or worse depending on the situation. SOOOO Annoying!

    Game 2: Sleep deprivation wins every time, I can turn off the tv, change the channel, something to get rid of that annoying whining bald headed Frenchmen, But lack of sleep is a never-ending abyss of hell with no end in sight, My kid is 11 and I’m still sleep deprived!

    Overall Winner: I go with sleep deprivation. I can tell off the one-upper, walk away, avoid them, but you can’t tell your kid to get out of your life, and you will always worry about them, no matter how old they are.

  36. Peggy H. says

    Dang it, I missed the first two rounds!

    Game 1) I’ve learned to ignore one-uppers, but I also have bad hips and knees, so changing diapers on the floor just doesn’t do it for me, or for other parents with disabilities! My vote: Changing tables :(

    Game 2) My son loved Caillou, and I don’t know who the other ones are (should I be thankful for this?) In my opinion, Spongebob (‘stupid’ would be giving him credit for having brains!) should have won the first round, hands down! So, not knowing the other show, I guess it’s caillou. :/

    The one show my husband and I have never allowed in our house is BARNEY!!!!!! OMG!!! Need I say more? :( :( :(

  37. says

    Both of these games will be close matchups I think, so here’s my vote:

    Game 1: I’ve changed my kids in numerous places without changing tables, and while yes, it is annoying, I’ve managed. One upper parents though… sometimes the only way to deal with them is a swift kick in the pants, and i’m not a violent person, so it usually just leaves me seething internally. One Upper parents get the win on this one.

    Game 2: I felt that I was unprepared for the first round matchups with Caillou, so before sitting down to vote, I made a point to watch an episode of Caillou yesterday. I thought I would be unduly biased, given the previous voting against him, but I was actually able to remain reasonably objective. I do think this kid needs a serious time out or spanking, but overall, I can handle caillou as long as I’ve had a good night’s sleep. Oh wait, that’s right, i don’t get those anymore. Not getting sleep gets the win here.

  38. Suzanne says

    Never getting a good night’s sleep wins over Caillou, because you can unplug the damn tv. I get exhausted after 3 hours with my Godkids, so its got to be that exhaustion.

    And I don’t even have kids but “one upper” parents are impossible to shut up, even when you say the actual words “shut up”. (Even when you don’t have kids, their kids are more amazing than Superman and smarter than Einstein and prettier than a beauty queen)…sooner or later you will find a changing table, but unless you take them out of your life completely, one uppers will drain your soul like a vampire drains blood. 😉

  39. Daniel Hurley says

    The one-upper is hilarious, although I tend to do that as well. Except I am an ER nurse as well as a DDW, so it is more empathy and commiseration, like “yeah, both our kids can be total pains in the asses” Never gonna say my kid is better or worse than anybody else’s, because I was the worst kid I have ever heard of :). FWIW, I have banned ALL of the cartoons you listed, and added few more. Kid has never seen them, so has no clue what a Caillou is ahahaha. I agree with you Doyin on having changing tables available, but I have had to improvise so many times, and as long as I don’t have to change him in trash or in body fluids, it’s all good for his immune system. As a nurse, sleep deprivation is not a problem, but a true one-upper parent is a jerk, so wins handily. So my vote is Caillou vs one-uppers, with Caillou winning by 15 points after a garbage-time 15-2 run by Caillou, and post-game conference wherein Caillou and Coach John Calipari (obviously) blame the refs. You thought he would have any other coach?

  40. amy w says

    Game 1 One-upper parents win this one as this can last years beyond the time that parents need to use changing tables.

    Game 2 Never getting a good night’s sleep wins this round as I can handle things, including Caillou induced whining (sorry child I can’t understand what you say when you whine) much better if I get some sleep.

    Overall winner is Never Getting a Good Night’s Sleep. Issues that arise are just much easier to deal with when a good night’s sleep happens.

  41. Genevieve says

    Game 1 – one upper parents. Easily. Honestly, I’ve changed children in cars, on floors (with a pad), in an airport gate area, everywhere. AND, you can change places without changing tables eventually, if enough people complain. One upper parents can’t be changed, and they are inflicting their damage not just on us other parents, but on their own kids. Who wants to have that person as a Mom or Dad? Scarred for life, I tell ya.

    Game 2 – Never getting a good night’s sleep, hands down. I could stand almost anything, including Caillou, with a good night’s sleep. The reverse is not true.

  42. Charlee says

    GAME #1

    No changing tables vs. One-upper parents
    -One-upper parents can be (mostly) avoided. It’s still a free country, and nobody can force you to socialize with someone you don’t want to (unless that ‘someone’ is my mother, and the one-upper parent is my older sister. But even then, family get-togethers don’t happen as frequently as epic blowouts in public.). No changing tables wins, (poopy) hands-down.

    GAME #2

    Never getting a good night’s sleep vs. Caillou:

    Really? Change the channel. Or put on “Frozen”. And then take a nap.

    Never getting a good night’s sleep affects not only your mood, but your long-term health as well, and those bad sides last a lot longer than an episode of a whiny animated kid.


    Never getting a good night’s sleep wins over no changing tables. In a pinch, it’s possible (not favorable, but possible) to find a surface to change a diaper. Try finding a substitute to 8 hours of blissful shut-eye. Ain’t gonna happen.

    Now if you’ll excuse me, it’s my lunch hour, and there’s a pillow and blanket in the back seat of my car calling my name. 😉

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