Daddy Doin’ a TON of Work

As most of you know, Mommy Doin’ Work (MDW) spent the past weekend partying it up in Vegas with her girlfriends. In doing so, that left me on solo daddy duty. I gotta say that I’ve learned a lot about myself and the parenting gig over the past few days, and I want to share those with you now.

Daddy and Daughter enjoying the Aquarium

 

Before I get into this, let me make something perfectly clear:

I am not a pussy.

Editor’s Note: MDW would say that only pussies protest about not being pussies, but that’s a debate for another day.

However, this weekend was really, really tough. So tough that I respect single parents a hell of a lot more than I already did (and that’s saying a lot because I already respect them tremendously). Now let me make something else perfectly clear: I would never disrespect single parents by saying that I know what’s it’s like to be one after spending 72 hours alone with my kid. That’s like professional athletes who say “I’m going to war with my soldiers tonight” before a game, when the closest thing to war they’ve seen is Call of Duty on their PlayStations. Those idiots have no clue what real war is all about and I have no clue what it’s really like to be a single parent based on this experience. The only thing I know for sure is that I’m not cut out for it.

That said, here’s what I noticed this past weekend:

 

I didn’t eat one warm meal: With MDW around, this was easy. One of us would eat while the other one ensured that Daughter Doin’ Work didn’t destroy our condo or herself, and then we’d trade places. Without MDW around…well, eating became borderline impossible. Question for the parents (especially parents with toddlers) – why is it that your kid will attempt to do something ridiculously dangerous as soon as you sit down to eat or relax? Headbutting our balcony door repeatedly, trying to drink toilet water, or pretending she’s LoLo Jones by attempting to hurdle the coffee table are just a few examples. Either way, warm food was not on the agenda.

 

Little things pissed me off: I also noticed that my fuse was shorter than usual with strangers. For example, on Saturday I took my little DDW to the Aquarium. We parked on the third level which meant we had to take the elevator to the ground floor. I had the BOB stroller (it’s not small), her diaper bag, my camera, and a bag of extras (snacks, sun screen, water, etc). Now here’s the thing: There were a lot of people waiting for the elevator because they had strollers as well. That’s fine – but my issue is with the young, able-bodied, lazy idiots with no kids who made the elevator line longer. After waiting 15 minutes for our turn, one of those young, able-bodied, lazy idiots had the nerve to say, “I don’t think you can fit your stroller in here with us.” I glared at him and said, “Look buddy – I’m going to fit my stroller in this elevator, so you can either walk your chubby little self down 20 stairs like the other non-parents, or you can show us your Gumby impersonation – you choose.” He ended up mumbling something under his breath waddled down the stairs while the other parents high-fived me.

Parents, am I alone here on the elevator thing? Does that piss you off or is it just me? I’ve been a dad for 17.5 months now, and I don’t know why it bugged me more on Saturday than ever before.

Editor’s Note: This is a little off-topic, but I realized something else that pissed me off over the weekend. I can’t stand it when people say, “Morning” instead of “Good Morning.” Yes, I should be happy that they’re polite enough to say something in the first place – but why not just add “good” in front of it? Otherwise it just sounds like you’re telling me what time of day it is. I want to say, “No shit, it’s morning! I have a watch and I can tell that the sun is not directly above me. You don’t hear me saying ‘Piss’ when it’s time for me to use the bathroom, do you? Enough with the ‘morning’ stuff already!” Sorry, I had to get that in there. 

 

Lack of Sleep: I was exhausted. For example, I put the baby into the bathtub naked with her shoes and socks on, and didn’t notice it until I looked down and thought her feet were bleeding. The “blood” was just her hot pink Nikes getting soaked in the bathtub. I am ashamed by this and will not discuss it further.

 

Plan everything: I’ve never been a planner. I’m a doer – hence, Daddy Doin’ Work. Daddy Plannin’ Work sounds pretty ridiculous and doesn’t roll off the tongue as well. Unfortunately, being a doer doesn’t work when you’re watching a kid by yourself. It took me until the final day to realize that I should’ve prepared meals right before bed that could be easily microwaved for lunch and dinner. I realized that I should’ve completed grocery shopping prior to MDW leaving. I realized that I probably should’ve picked out clothes for the weekend before the weekend started. Hell, I wore the shirt in this picture on Saturday and Sunday because it’s the only one I could find that did not require ironing. That’s also one of the cool things about being an identical twin. On the off chance I bumped into someone who saw me wearing the same shirt as the day before, I’d just say that I was him. I’m not sure how I would explain that he was watching my kid instead of me, though…luckily I didn’t have to worry about that.

 

You never know what you’ve got ’til it’s gone: I really missed my wife. She is the rock of our family and having her away for 72 hours just goes to show how valuable she is to us. I hope she doesn’t read this or else she’ll get cocky.

 

On a completely random note regarding this past weekend, Daughter Doin’ Work is 17.5 months old right now and she still drinks milk out of a bottle. Like I said a million times before, I’m a clueless first-time dad – but I have a feeling that she’s too damn old to drink anything out of a bottle going forward. I made the executive decision to stop giving her milk bottles this past weekend and move to a sippy cup (especially since she has been drinking water out of a sippy cup since she was 10 months old). On Monday morning the kid melted down like I’ve never seen her melt down before. She wanted no part of the sippy cup and she let out a Mariah Carey ten-second high-pitched scream that I think broke a few wine glasses in the kitchen.

Here’s the thing – I’m the most low-key parent you will ever meet and I hardly ever raise my voice at my daughter. I’m not going to judge parents who yell at their kids, but I’ll let you know that I’m not one of them. However, this situation frustrated me so much that I bent down to eye-level with her and sternly said, “Look! You’re NOT going to get a bottle, so it’s either the sippy cup or nothing!!”

The look I received from my baby is one that I will never forget. She stopped being angry and she looked at me with a heartbreaking sadness as if to say, “Daddy, please don’t yell at me. I just don’t want the sippy cup. Why can’t you understand that??”

Immediately afterwards, I picked her up and started sobbing myself. I told her, “I am SO sorry, baby. I’m only doing this for your own good. I love you so much, don’t you ever forget that, OK?”

Then the coolest thing ever happened to me:

She looked me in the eye and said, “I love you” (I wuv eww) and hugged me. It was the first “I love you” she ever said to me and it’s one that I will also NEVER forget. Tears stream down my face as I’m typing this. It made me realize that as challenging as parenting can be at times, your baby will provide you with timely reminders about how incredibly awesome the job really is.

 

 

 

If so, then share it on your favorite social networks by using the buttons above! C'mon, don't be shy.  You can also subscribe to Daddy Doin' Work via RSS or email to be notified of new rants, revelations, and random thoughts.     

Comments

  1. says

    Awww! I love the unsolicited I love yous. I think they are the sweetest. Taking care of kids alone is tough. My husband works really rough hours, so its usually just me and 3 kids. I know how you feel.
    Susan recently posted..Summer Vacation IdeasMy Profile

  2. Liz says

    Aw! Gotta love that first I love you! You’re such a good dad. Congrats on surviving the weekend!

    Oh, and I’m with you on the elevator thing :)

  3. says

    When mine was small he was, how shall I put this? Busy. So busy, in fact, that Hubby and I would look at each other and ask each other “If this one, little guy is kicking our butts – how hard must it be for a single parent?!”

    But those out of nowhere “I wuv you’s” make it all worthwhile.

    And as for the sippy cup? Stay strong. Stay consistent. Remember that and it will serve you well now and in the future.
    Gigi recently posted..Sometimes all you need to do is take that first step…..and then real life takes over and thwarts all your dreamsMy Profile

  4. Bonnie says

    While ‘they’ (so called child experts) say 12 months is when they should stop the bottle… many advocate 18 months as a more realistic time to stop. They are more developmentally ready to physically control the cup better to get enough to drink (instead of wearing it all!)

    • says

      Bonnie, I’ve heard so many conflicting reports on this that it’s made my head spin. The good news is that she’s doing a much better job with the sippy cup today than she did yesterday and I hope that trend continues. Never a dull moment with this parenting gig :)
      Daddy Doyin recently posted..Ten Things I Want My Daughter to KnowMy Profile

  5. Hera says

    Ok so agreed with the able bodied people on the elevator. I have gotten so irritated about it lately that I usually at the very least mutter something loudly under my breath (usually embarrassing the person I am with and the offender). I’m a single mom and yes it’s tough. You hit the nail on the head with the toughest part. Things like eating and dressing yourself are always tough because unless the baby is sleeping, you just can’t take care of yourself. This is why I routinely leave the house with stained clothes (dont judge) and have learned to eat fast and when I can vice when I am actually hungry. That beig said, I don’t want a pitty party because I choose to be a single mom. I love my kid. In my situation, the alterative was just not an option.

  6. Amy K says

    Please don’t be hating too much on the folks who use elevators who seem able-bodied to you. While I definitely feel your frustration about the elevator vis-à-vis the stroller, there are a lot of people who suffer from invisible disabilities and illnesses who also need to use the elevator. If I had been the man you shamed into using the stairs, what you said would have been deeply offensive to me, and I probably would have given you an earful back about why. I have fibromyalgia and arthritis, and have just as much right to that elevator as you do. I shouldn’t have to be with the kids in order to get that kind of respect.

    • says

      C’mon Amy – you gotta give me a little more credit than that. Although you make a good point that not all disabilities are visible, I’d be willing to bet a lot of money that this guy was just fine. He was skateboarding up and down the hallway while he was waiting for the elevator for crying out loud.
      Daddy Doyin recently posted..The Definition of NOT HotMy Profile

  7. Betsee says

    Nicely done.

    Yes, many people are douche canoes, especially nonparents. 2nd, I really need to go away for a weekend so I can be missed. Just sayin’. 3rd, start introducing a sippy cup at 5 mos. Got that from an OT – occupational therapist. 4th, you’re going to lose it again with her in the future. FYI. Welcome to parenting.

  8. Shirlene says

    I love this blog. I can relate to some of it because when my daughter was 11 months old, my hubby had to be her “primary” care giver for 72 hours. I went to CA with my Mom. He never realized how much work went into looking after her. When I got home, they were the best of friends. My daughter took one look at me & said, “No, Daddy,” when I went to take her from him. It melted his heart. Broke mine, she is my Mini Me/my shadow. I love that you do your blogs. I like having a Daddy’s prospective. You do a great job.

    • says

      Thanks Shirlene! I know exactly what you mean with the “No, Daddy” comment – because my baby is a daddy’s girl for sure (MDW is not happy about this). It’s definitely a heart-melting moment, as I’m sure your husband can attest to.

      Thank you SO much for your support! I hope you enjoy your stay here with me! :)
      Daddy Doyin recently posted..Daddy Daughter SaturdayMy Profile

  9. says

    i literally cracked up at the bleeding feet!!! that shit is good stuff!

    and i have to comment on the whole “morning” thing…. i say it! butttt i more say “g’mornin” but youre often hardly able to hear the “g”… my reasoning is that not every morning is a GOOD morning dammit! you need to accept that! its more of a salutation! its a cheery MORNIN! and if you heard me say it, you wouldnt hate it so much! i swear!

  10. says

    Lol. We purposely leave the “Good” off our “good Mornings” at work… becasue, well… we’re at work, it’s early as heck and we’re grumbly.

  11. says

    Hi DDW,
    I found your blog via “Dumpster baby”, so glad I did! I totally agree with you on the elelevator issue, that has bugged me many times…I’m a single Mom to my 5 year old daughter. I’d love to put your blog on my blogroll if that’s ok…:)
    Anne
    Anne recently posted..Fried RiceMy Profile

  12. Sandy says

    You are hysterical! Just found you from IWADB and came on over to read your blogs. Looking forward to more.

  13. Heather says

    I wish you blogged about 12 years ago when my daughter was little. I guess I’ll wati till you catch up to theose tween girl years. Dude, good luck. You’re gonna need it!!! 😉

  14. LYNDSEY says

    I hate it when people dont open the door for you when you have a stroller full of kids and there is no hadicap button for auto opening doors. So then you have to back ass first into the store while dragging your stroller while other people walk around you and dont offer to hold it open. When I am alone I always try to help parents our by opening the door.

  15. says

    I’m not a parent yet, but I am disabled and the elevator thing bugs the crap out of me. Especially when people glare at my husband for getting on the elevator with me. Sorry, but I’m a hundred pound, crippled girl in a wheelchair and he’s my bouncer. He ensures people see me way down here at waist level and he pushes the healthier idiots out of the way when I’m too polite.
    Kendra Merritt recently posted..Comment on Finding Freedom in Disability by Wheelchair Waltzing | From the Desk of Kendra MerrittMy Profile

  16. lucinda says

    saw your viral pic via huffington post…and am reading through your blogs….love the pic here. shes so freakin cute!!

  17. Orela says

    Ive never gotten the elevator thing, only one of us will go on if our daughter is with us especially if it’s busy. Great blog

Leave a Reply to Kim Cancel reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *

CommentLuv badge