Raising my “Daughter Doin’ Work” is awesome, and I’m having an absolute blast so far. Even though I’m only 16 months in, I picture what life will be like with her when I’m 16 years in, or when she has a 16-month old of her own someday. Here’s what I want to teach her.
Number 1: I want her to know that it’s OK to be tough. Don’t get me wrong, being a girly-girl is a good thing if that’s what you’re into. However, as a man I’ve always gravitated more towards women who would rather kick the ass of a knight in shining armor than sit around waiting to be saved by him. Play sports, get dirty, learn how to throw a punch, and know how to change a flat tire. When you’re done – show the world how great you can look in a fancy dress and heels.
Number 2: Institute a Zero-Tolerance Policy for disrespectful men. I want my daughter to know that the day a man cheats on her, or physically/emotionally abuses her will be the last day he will ever speak to her (probably because I’d kill him, but that’s besides the point). Without being cocky, she should know that any man should feel lucky to be in a relationship with her, and any major “slip up” like the aforementioned is unforgivable.
Number 3: I want her to always be confident in her appearance. Although she’s 3 feet tall right now, I have no clue what she’ll look like when she’s older. A runway model? A female version of Andre the Giant? Something in between? Who knows? I’m always fearful that she’ll fall victim to the societal pressures of what beauty is “supposed to be” (especially living in Los Angeles), but I take comfort in knowing that self-confidence will prevent her from succumbing to those pressures. If she’s tall, short, skinny, or chubby – I want her to always look in the mirror and think “I’m beautiful,” because that’s what I will always think of her.
Number 4: I want her to be a dreamer and a hustler. You want to be a doctor? Go for it. A pop star? Let’s do it. An entrepreneur? Get it done. I honestly don’t care what she does, as long as she’s happy, gives it a 100% effort, and never quits. Well, I guess that’s not entirely true. I do adhere to a strict “no pole” rule, which clearly states that my daughter cannot choose a profession that involves poles. This means, no race car driving (pole position), no dancing on poles (stripping), and no inserting flesh “poles” into your body for cash (prostitution and/or pornography).
Number 5: It’s important that she’s nice. Being smart and pretty is great and all, but it’s meaningless unless you have a good heart and you care about other people besides yourself. I want my daughter to know that it’s never cool to be a bully, make fun of people, or just be a mean-spirited jackass. I want my baby to intrinsically befriend the socially-awkward kid eating lunch by herself in middle school, hold doors open for people, be a good tipper at restaurants, and smile often. It’s amazing how far that will go.
Number 6: I want her to love herself. I grew up as an insecure nerdy kid, and now I’ve blossomed into an older insecure nerdy kid. The only thing that’s really changed throughout the years is that I’ve learned to love my insecurities – because that’s what makes Doyin a better person (Hell, I just went “3rd person,” so maybe I’m not as insecure as I thought). I want my baby to love her quirks. For example, she’s too young to notice that she snorts when she laughs or farts while she sleeps – but it’s the little things that makes her unique. In a nutshell, if she loves herself just a fraction of the amount that I love her, she’ll be just fine.
Thanks for reading my first blog post. Time will tell if I’ll come close to helping my daughter achieve these things, but it won’t be due to a lack of trying. Either way, you’ll get to read about it here!