By now you probably know that a picture of me and my kids “Broke the Internet.” I’m still not quite sure what that means, but I’ve heard it enough times in the past week to believe it’s true. The majority of my time recently was spent talking about serious topics, so I figured I’d use this week’s blog post to lighten the mood a bit by sharing some of the not-so-serious moments from the craziness.
#1 – Remember the red-haired kid who sat three rows behind you in 3rd grade?: Of course you don’t. But if something like this ever happens to you, he’ll remember you. And suddenly you’ll be best friends.
– “Slow down! You’re talking too fast! Katie’s not going to be able to understand a word you’re saying.”
– “Fix your tie, it’s crooked.”
– “WHY ARE YOU TOUCHING AL’S HEAD???????”
A mom will never stop being a mom, I guess.
#3 – The confused look on my 3-year old daughter’s face when she saw me on television: I wasn’t there to witness it, but I was told she kept jumping up and down saying, “It’s Daddy! Hi Daaaaaaaaaadeeeeeeeeeeeeee!!………***pause*** Come here, Daddy! ***taps on TV screen***”
#4 – Being so nervous that I forgot to pack a jacket to NYC: No need to expand on how much that sucked.
#5 – Being told on Friday that I was a part of one of the most talked about news stories in the entire world: Yes, literally the entire world. As a dad who does stuff like this everyday, I didn’t know whether I should laugh, cry, or scratch my head in confusion.
#6 – Teaching people how to pronounce my name. “My name isn’t phonetically correct, but it’s pronounced doe-ween, like ‘in between.'” I think I said that sentence about 2,452 times in the past seven days.
#7 – Being dubbed as an expert on creating viral sensations: If they only knew how I just finished dropping a monster deuce after rolling out of bed with three hours worth of sleep, put on the same outfit that I wore the entire day before, and hadn’t showered in two days. I made zero effort to look cool or look hot, I just wanted photographic evidence to prove to my wife that I could get my daughter’s hair done while also keeping the baby happy. So yeah, there’s my expert analysis. You’re welcome.
#8 – The amount of hair companies wanting to send me products: One lady said, “My product will be great for styling your daughter’s hair. It’s versatile enough to style your hair too, Daddy!” Either she was trying to be funny or she hasn’t seen a picture of me. For my whole adult life I’ve had more hair on my nuts than I’ve had on my head, and I’m not about to….never mind. Let’s move on, shall we?
#9 – Speaking of nuts, I’m so incredibly tired from running around the country that I would gladly use a porcupine’s testicles as a pillow if it meant I could take an uninterrupted 2-hour nap.
#10 – The best part?: Knowing that there are millions of men on #TeamGrownAssMan who offered their support and share my passion for fatherhood. Even though it would be close to impossible for me to respond to every email I’ve received since all of this started, just know that I’m humbled and honored to be on the same team as these men and I hope to make them proud.
And the movement continues.